(no subject)
Jul. 4th, 2006 01:42 amOk here's another pointless post that has nothing to do with H/D, but I have to get this out of my system.
I'm tired of older people assuming that young people don't know anything about life. Yes, wisdom comes with age-- more life experiences, more mistatkes to have learned from, etc. But does that mean that someone a few years older will make better choices in every situation? I don't think so. Why do I bring this up?
Today, I went to a barbeque for ID and to celebrate the arrival of cousins from Poland (who never arrived due to strange circumstances and won't be here until tomorrow..er, later today, that is). At one point, I made the mistake of leaving my usual male company and wandering into a room of women. One asked whom I was seeing atm, and I said I'm still single because I'm picky. That inevitably started a conversation about love. They were saying I'm right in waiting for the right one or what not.
Then, a lady who's a friend of the family started telling me some story about a girl whose mom told her to leave her broke medical-student boyfriend and marry a rich man. The girl decided to stay with the guy she loved, and now they're happily married and well off-- blah, blah. The lesson was supposed to be that it's better to listen to your heart than to what other people tell you.
I said that in this case, that may have been right. But there are many other cases where someone blinded by love follows their heart to disaster, when they would have been better off listening to parents or friends. THe lady said that yeah, that happens, but this girl was 28 at the time so she had a lot more life experience than someone my age (oooh, a 6 year difference).
I denfended myself politely by saying that at my so-very-young-age, I'm fairly capable of making good decisions, but she maintained that this girl knew better thanI do because she was older. I'm tempermental, so this made me angry, but since I'm trying to be a better person, I kept my mouth shut in order to avoid starting an argument with a bunch of women 2-3 times my age.
I remember a conversation I had with this same lady when I was 14-15. She and my aunt were telling me "oh you jsut wait 4 or 5 years, you'll be changing boyrfriends as often as you change your socks." I told them, "I don't think so. That's not my thing." But they told me that I would change when I got older, that I'd see they were right.
Well, 4 years have passed since then, and then another 4, and I've never changed guys nearly as often as I change my socks or my bed sheets or even my windshield wipers, because I have better things to do with my time. I don't see this changing in the foreseeable future, either.
So, my pasat conversation with these women might be an exception. I agree that, in general, older people know more about love and relationships than teenagers/people in their early 20's and proabably make fewer mistakes. But I know many cases of people much older than me making mistakes I have never made and probably never would. I have avoided heartache more effectively than most people of any age I know. Not because I i think I'm smarter or more experienced than everyone else, but because I have very high self-esteem (which I believe is the basis for avoiding/being able to get out of negative relationships) and good intuition about people.
To sum it all up, I'm sick of people thinking I know nothing about love and relationships because I'm young. I know I don't know everything, and I have yet to make some mistakes of my own, but so far I've done quite well.
In other news: One of my aunts thinks there's no point to me getting married if I don't want to have kids. She said I should just take lovers then... why get married. WTF? I can't spend my life with one man whom I love and who loves me, just because i don't want kids? I should have lovers instead???
Ok, this is probably about half the length of chapter 8 of lost grimoire, and I'm sure you would rather have been reading that :) I'll try to finish it ASAP
I'm tired of older people assuming that young people don't know anything about life. Yes, wisdom comes with age-- more life experiences, more mistatkes to have learned from, etc. But does that mean that someone a few years older will make better choices in every situation? I don't think so. Why do I bring this up?
Today, I went to a barbeque for ID and to celebrate the arrival of cousins from Poland (who never arrived due to strange circumstances and won't be here until tomorrow..er, later today, that is). At one point, I made the mistake of leaving my usual male company and wandering into a room of women. One asked whom I was seeing atm, and I said I'm still single because I'm picky. That inevitably started a conversation about love. They were saying I'm right in waiting for the right one or what not.
Then, a lady who's a friend of the family started telling me some story about a girl whose mom told her to leave her broke medical-student boyfriend and marry a rich man. The girl decided to stay with the guy she loved, and now they're happily married and well off-- blah, blah. The lesson was supposed to be that it's better to listen to your heart than to what other people tell you.
I said that in this case, that may have been right. But there are many other cases where someone blinded by love follows their heart to disaster, when they would have been better off listening to parents or friends. THe lady said that yeah, that happens, but this girl was 28 at the time so she had a lot more life experience than someone my age (oooh, a 6 year difference).
I denfended myself politely by saying that at my so-very-young-age, I'm fairly capable of making good decisions, but she maintained that this girl knew better thanI do because she was older. I'm tempermental, so this made me angry, but since I'm trying to be a better person, I kept my mouth shut in order to avoid starting an argument with a bunch of women 2-3 times my age.
I remember a conversation I had with this same lady when I was 14-15. She and my aunt were telling me "oh you jsut wait 4 or 5 years, you'll be changing boyrfriends as often as you change your socks." I told them, "I don't think so. That's not my thing." But they told me that I would change when I got older, that I'd see they were right.
Well, 4 years have passed since then, and then another 4, and I've never changed guys nearly as often as I change my socks or my bed sheets or even my windshield wipers, because I have better things to do with my time. I don't see this changing in the foreseeable future, either.
So, my pasat conversation with these women might be an exception. I agree that, in general, older people know more about love and relationships than teenagers/people in their early 20's and proabably make fewer mistakes. But I know many cases of people much older than me making mistakes I have never made and probably never would. I have avoided heartache more effectively than most people of any age I know. Not because I i think I'm smarter or more experienced than everyone else, but because I have very high self-esteem (which I believe is the basis for avoiding/being able to get out of negative relationships) and good intuition about people.
To sum it all up, I'm sick of people thinking I know nothing about love and relationships because I'm young. I know I don't know everything, and I have yet to make some mistakes of my own, but so far I've done quite well.
In other news: One of my aunts thinks there's no point to me getting married if I don't want to have kids. She said I should just take lovers then... why get married. WTF? I can't spend my life with one man whom I love and who loves me, just because i don't want kids? I should have lovers instead???
Ok, this is probably about half the length of chapter 8 of lost grimoire, and I'm sure you would rather have been reading that :) I'll try to finish it ASAP